Random Rambling
by Amaya86
Summary: Every year Seireitei hosts on of the hottest rock festivals of the year... join Nell, Grimmjow and the gang as they check out the scene. Complete and utter crack, but it's good for a laugh.


AN: This fic has been on my PC for ages, thought it was about time I posted it. It is a prequel for a GrimmIchi I'm working on (though knowing my track record I have no idea when it will be out on ff). Expect OOCness and some crackish elements.

Bleach does not belong to me.

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Introductions

Eyeing the big-ass gates baring my access to my brother's driveway I let off a few choice cuss words. Normally the gates being closed wouldn't be a problem, I would just phone one of the guys to come open it for me, but even in my car, the windows rolled up and the rain drumming loudly on the roof, I could hear the ear-bleeding screamo music coming from inside the house. I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel weighing my options. I could take the chance that someone would hear my call, or I could just get out and open the damn gate myself. It was highly unlikely that anyone would hear a phone over this racket, plus I was low on airtime. Seriously, I could live to be a hundred and not understand how people can function with the constant screaming. Have you ever heard of lyrics? Now don't get me wrong, I love a good head-bang session as much as the next person, but this was a bit too much.

With a resigned sigh I got out of my car and quickly ran to open the heavy iron-gate. It use to work with a remote, and I have a remote, but my brothers previous fling (I think the kid was called Luppi, or something like that) had thrown a bitch-fit when he got dumped and retaliated by wrecking the electronics. Childish, I know, but if anyone had bothered to ask me I would have told them the guy was mentally unstable. That had been four months ago and none of the guys were bothered to fix it. Hell, most days they didn't even bother shutting the gate because they were too lazy to open and close it the whole time. So that leaves little old me, out in the rain, struggling with the gate. After getting wet I got back into my car and drove up to the house without closing the gate. Fuck them, they can come close their own damn gate.

Reaching the house I got out of my car, once again getting rained on, and had to suppress a smile as my brother's favorite song _Enter Sand Man_ from _Metallica_ started blaring at full volume. Ignoring the locked front door I carefully made my way around the house and into the back garden. The rain had left puddles of muddy water on the garden path and I was not in the mood to be dirty and wet. From there I let myself into the house through the sliding glass doors.

I froze and took a moment to take in the scene facing me. Fuck! Just as I had thought, the living room was an absolute mess. The music should have tipped me off. Early morning metal was always a post party occurrence. The guy's claimed it had something to do with scaring the headache away. It's bullshit if you ask me, but hey, to each his own ne.

If you take into account the chaotic state of the room it's not so hard to believe that the house is occupied by five males. On the glass topped coffee table in front of the couch, a beer-can tower had been given a place of honor. I had to admire that they got it so high. It was a true master piece, towering above my 1.6m. I don't consider myself short, it's just not my fault my brother has freakishly tall friends. Apart from the impressive tower the rest of the room was pretty much trashed, empty glasses and plates filling every available surface. Not that it bothered me. At least they got smashed at home and not at some club somewhere which would lead to them driving home drunk.

I was about to leave the room to search for some signs of life when one of the overflowing ashtrays caught my attention. My heart rate picked up and I wandered closer to investigate. I couldn't help frowning in annoyance as I confirmed that it did indeed look like the discarded remains of several joints scattered among the cigarette buds. I was instantaneously pissed, my blood rushing in my ears.

_Enter Sand Man_ finished playing and the silence that followed was almost more deafening than the loud music. Somewhere in the back a door slammed and the sounds of the shower started up. I was still frozen in place trying to remain calm while the waves of my temper tried to knock me over. I was no angel, but if there was one thing that got to me it was when people excessively used drugs around my brother. I know the guys occasionally smoked. Hell, who didn't smoke these days, but this was ridiculous. I counted at least ten telltale little white buds mixed in with the yellow cigarette ends.

Let me explain. My brother use to be the poster child for delinquency. He skipped school, got into fights, used and sold drugs. It only escalated after he finished school and got his own place. It was a self-destructive downwards spiral and eventually he ended up overdosing. I was the one who found him outside the house in a pool of his own vomit. It took the ambulance fifteen minutes to get there and I have at no point in my life been as frightened as I was that night. They later told me he stopped breathing twice in the ambulance and once at the hospital but somehow, miraculously, he pulled through. So my reaction though extreme, was justified.

Without having to look (I had stayed in this house for almost four years) I stuck out my arm and unhooked my brother's samurai sword that was mounted on the wall above the couch. No, it wasn't a real sword… okay, maybe it's a sword, but it was just for show, no one actually used it for fighting. I curled my hand around the handle, the weight resting comfortably in my palm. I whirled around knocking over the beer-can tower, cans flying through the air, before smashing the glass top of the table. It was a bit much, but I instantly felt better. When I got like this it was better to take it out on inanimate objects rather than actual people. This kind of thing actually happened more often than you would think. We were a destructive bunch.

I was still thoroughly enjoying my destructive spree, smashing up the bamboo and wood frame of the table, when Nnoitra stormed into the room. "Shit Nell, what the fuck are you doing!" he yelled, eye darting between the pile of splinters that used to be a table and me with the sword. "You almost gave me a frigging heart attack!"

I narrowed my eyes and pointed the sword at him, still too pissed to think straight. "Don't fuck with me Nnoi, I'm not in the mood." I spat out.

He held his hands up in front of him in a placating gesture as he slowly inched closer. Strange enough, even with him being so tall, he was extremely good at making himself look nonthreatening Well, he had to learn how to calm half deranged individuals when he started working at Arrancar mental clinic three years ago. He loved his job and often came home with entertaining stories about the patients. The latest one had been about a young blond haired guy who was 'stalking' him at work. When he was close enough he carefully pried the sword from my shaking white knuckled grip. I instantaneously felt dizzy and nauseous and sat down heavily on the couch. The adrenalin always made me feel like crap after snapping like that. Nnoi placed the sword back on the wall before turning towards me.

"Talk," he ordered as he shook a cigarette from a half empty pack that was lying on the small table next to him. He lit it and held it out to me waiting until I took a drag before taking one for himself. I closed my eyes as I deeply inhaled the smoke, loving the feeling of the nicotine coursing through my veins extinguishing the last flames of anger.

"Who was smoking?" I asked pointing at the ashtray with my cigarette. As his gaze landed on the overfull ashtray his violet eye widened in realization as he saw the white buds clearly visible between the yellow ones. He started laughing and I felt my anger returning. I guess he noticed too because he quickly explained. "Jeeze Nell, relax. It's not weed." He laughed again at my disbelieving glare. "Some of Starrks' friends were rolling their own cigarettes."

Blushing and feeling like a complete ass I continued puffing on my cigarette as I studied my brother's best friend. Those two have been friends like forever, since before I can remember. Nnoi started out as a short, skinny-assed kid with a smile too big for his face. Then he hit puberty, had a growth spurt and turned into a tall skinny-assed kid with a smile too big for his face. Now, at twenty six he was no longer a kid, but he was still skinny as hell and his smile was still too big for his face. Now this would be the point in time where a good friend would point out all his redeeming qualities. I could say he has a heart of gold and wouldn't hurt a fly, but I'm not going to do that. It would be an outright lie. Nnoi was a sadistic, perverted fuck. He's the kind of person who would catch a fly in a jar, shake the jar vigorously and then fill it with water just so he could watch the fly struggle and slowly drown. How they allowed him to work with mental patients is beyond me, but I loved him almost as much as I loved my brother.

Nnoi made himself comfortable on the couch next to me, making sure to elbow me in the ribs as he did so. Being a typical chain smoker he lit a second cigarette just as I killed mine by popping it into a half empty beer can lying on the seat next to me.

I looked up from this act just as another person made his way into the wreaked living room. I smiled at the new arrival. Without pausing, Ulquiorra swept his forest green eyes across the room, wordlessly surveying the added damage before nodding in my direction as a way of greeting. Completely disregarding the signs of my recent temper tantrum he crossed the room, heading to the kitchen. Ulquiorra hardly ever spoke to anyone and was another addition to my brother's fucked circle of friends. One of the more civil members, I have to add. If you didn't know him you would easily think that he went through the world oblivious to what went on around him, but you would be so wrong. He noticed everything. He just didn't care enough to respond. He was as sharp as a scalpel, but it usually took a lot of effort to get any kind of response.

The three became friends in their senior year after Ulquiorra transferred from some stuck-up all boys school. Being the painfully antisocial person that he is, it wasn't long before he attracted the wrong kind of attention. People have different reasons for avoiding socializing with other. If you're like me, you do it because it's too much of an effort to keep up appearances. Seriously, I find interacting with strangers painful and draining. Then there are people like Ulquiorra who hate interacting with others because 90% of the time they act like morons. So anyway, one afternoon about half way into the first term, he was cornered by four of his fellow seniors who resented his aloof manner. He had asked them politely to leave him alone and they in turn confirmed his theory on their mental capabilities by attacking him instead. Ulquiorra retaliated and after dishing out a blue eye, a bleeding nose and several cracked ribs the other three ran off leaving their injured friend behind. Ulquiorra had phoned an ambulance and walked away leaving the bleeding boy by the side of the road.

My brother and Nnoi, who had witnessed the whole thing, were awestruck. The next day at school they introduced themselves to the indifferent youth and the three have been friends ever since. I don't think that either of them has ever beaten him in a one on one fight. Ulquiorra approached every situation involving interaction with others with blissful indifference and would ignore a fly as long as it didn't bug him (bug… hahaha! Get it? Fly… bug… oh never mind). However, if it irritated him enough he would unceremoniously squish it and then go on as if nothing happened. I preferred hanging out with him because we have a lot in common and my brothers other friends were often childish and demanding.

Ulquiorra had just disappeared into the kitchen and I was considering asking Nnoi for another smoke when hurried steps sounded in the hallway. I smiled, knowing already who it would be. "Nnoitra?" Ulquiorra called from the kitchen just as Szayel entered the living room. "Why is the microwave door open?" With a panicked expression Szayel flung himself across the room towards the kitchen. "Don't…" he started saying just as the sound of the microwave clicking shut reached the living room. Seconds after the soft hum of the microwave there was a muted crackling and then an explosion. Szayel had gone from flustered to furious in seconds and stormed into the kitchen screeching a jumbled mix of curse words.

I looked over at Nnoi to see him grinning manically holding up a yellow post-it filled with Szayel's feminine writing. I lifted my one eyebrow in a silent question, but Nnoi just shook his head and handed me another lit cigarette. He upped the volume on the tv effectively drowning out Szayel's ranting. Ulquiorra and Szayel were childhood friends and by default became part of the group after moving to Karakura for work. With all honesty I had no idea how the pink haired man fit into this mixed up bunch. For one, he was smart, really smart. He was currently working for an unknown employer as a biochemical engineer or something like that. Actually, I don't think anyone really knew what he did for a living. Personally I think everyone was too nervous to ask because it was probably illegal.

Now I'm not saying my brother and his friends are idiots, except maybe for Nnoi. Ulquiorra could do things with computers that made my head spin. I know for a fact that he could hack into a few systems that were not supposed to be available to the general public. My brother was a paramedic and that required at least some mental abilities (and it came in handy with Szayel in the house) and Starrk had his own business. Szayel was book smart and that, right there, should have been enough to kill the friendship, but for some reason it worked.

Szayel also thought of himself as a scientist and had various little experiments stashed throughout the house as well as having a cupboard in the kitchen and a whole shelf in the fridge filled with little labeled glass jars. Everyone knew to stay away from anything labeled with Szayel's precise written yellow post-its. Shortly after he moved into the house, Nnoi had been chasing me through the house with a water pistol and I had accidentally knocked one of his experiments off the kitchen counter. It had shattered on the tiled floor and Szayel had been so angry he almost had a seizure. He chased everyone out of the house and had spent several hours 'retrieving' what was left of his specimen. Later that day he had cornered me and informed me that if I ever touched anything of his again he would make me disappear. Now, any normal person would probably have felt intimidated, because I'm sure if anyone could make someone disappear it would be Szayel, but I was intrigued. Szayel was cool and calculated with a sarcastic sense of humor. If he could find the time to catch a fly he would pull off the wings and study it for hours making detailed notes of his observations… and I would help. After the jar incident I had nagged him until he let me help. As a result I had a few of his more suspect experiments at my place. My brother didn't know.

Another thing to remember when dealing with Szayel, and I learnt this the hard way, was not to accept anything he offered. And I mean anything. If he asks if you want something to drink, say no. If he cooked, get takeaways. It was just too dangerous. After accepting a cup of tea from him, I spent the entire day deaf in my one ear, as well as having to put up with him following me around. By the end of the day I was just relieved to get my hearing back. I think Ulquiorra is the only one in the house he hasn't tried dosing.

I suppressed a smile as Szayel stomped past muttering something about wasted time and idiots who couldn't read. As he slammed his bedroom door shut Nnoi and I both burst out laughing. We spent a few minutes struggling to regain some form of composure, bursting into fresh fits of laughter every time we looked at each other.

"Where's Starrk?" I asked Nnoi when I finally had my voice under control. Starrk was the last of my brother's friends living here. He was older than the others and was the co-owner of Las Noches, one of Karakura's hottest nightclubs. He was also a self-proclaimed stoner, and was always either tired from work or tripping. The only reason I didn't throw a fit about his little habit was because I've never actually seen or smelt him getting high.

"Heh, where do ya think?" Nnoi replied as he pushed himself to his feet tossing his cigarette packet at me. "Fucker's still sleeping," he grinned down at me. "I'm gonna take a shower," he said, absentmindedly scratching his ass before making his way towards the door.

"Yo," I heard him talking to some unseen person in the hallway. "Your crazy sister trashed the living room again," he continued with an evil chuckle. Oh shit, I was dead. Grimmjow was going to be pissed. I nervously turned around to face the door and peeked over the back of the couch just in time to see my brother strut into the room, his damp hair combed back with a few stubborn strands falling forward onto his high forehead. My brother was gorgeous. Through some genetic freak accident he ended up with this incredible sky blue hair that no one believed was real. He has strong facial features, piercing blue eyes and a body than instantly turned girls into giggling idiots. His black silk boxers, the only clothing he bothered to put on after his shower, clung to his still damp skin. He was well-muscled without being over buff. Nothing put me off more than a man whose boobs were bigger than mine. In short, my brother was sex on legs, or so I've been told.

As he saw the damage he froze, blue eyebrows pulling together, eyes narrowed in a scowl. He crossed his arms over his chest and I sunk a little lower into the couch recognizing the danger signs. It was the silence before the storm. When Grimm got quite it was time to run. Shit. "Hey Grimmykins" I said flashing him my biggest smile, hoping against hope the old pet name would remind him that I'm his sister whom he actually loves.

No such luck.

"What the fuck Nell? Did you forget to take your crazy pills this morning?" he stomped all the way into the room, fists clenched tightly by his side, probably trying hard not to kill me. "Sorry Grimm" I squeaked out as he loomed over me, his blue eyes a shade lighter than normal. I seriously don't understand what the big deal was. I was the one who bought that stupid table for him last month after he broke the old one. It was one of the few things we shared… random fits of destruction.

I curled into a ball and brought my hands up to protect my head as he grabbed a fluffy pillow off the couch and immediately started hitting me with it. It didn't hurt, I mean, it's a fucking pillow, but it was humiliating as hell. "I said I'm sorry Grimm! What more do you want!" I whined out pathetically.

With a triumphant smile he dropped the pillow. "Well, since you offered, you can always clean up the living room." With a smirk he turned and walked towards the kitchen. "Aw fuck! Come on Grimm, this place is a mess." I shot back as I uncurled myself.

"Ulquiorra's cooking, clean up and we'll feed you." He said with a last look over his shoulder.

"Damn you Grimm, that's fighting dirty!" Ulquiorra made a mean omelet. Resigned to my fate I got up off the couch and made my way towards the broom closet in the hallway. Actually I got off easy. My brother loved fighting and if I had to apply my fly analogy to him I would say he was the kind of guy that would kill one fly before tracking down all its mates. Then he would put out sugar water to attract more flies so he could kill them too.

Now that I've introduced you to five of the most important people in my life I guess it's only fair to introduce myself as well. My name is Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck, but everyone calls me Nell. I'm a twenty year old student with hazel eyes and a hair color that's even weirder than my brothers. Who has moss-green hair anyway? I'm short tempered, sometimes irrational, often irritating, undoubtedly sarcastic and overall insane. And I'm also one of the most loyal people you will ever meet.

Grimmjow is my (sometimes) loving big brother. We share a mother, but have different fathers. Grimm's dad died in a freak car accident when he was four. Our mother didn't take it so well. Shortly after the death of Grimm's dad she had a fling with the man who shares my DNA. Said man took off at the speed of light when he heard I was on the way. I have his surname even though never met the guy.

Mom was an emotional mess held together by Prozac and weekly meetings with her psychiatrist. And there were men, so many of them. Some were good to us, some were less kind, and one or two were more interested in us than in her. I never asked, but I think that's why Grimm moved in with Nnoi and his family when he was fifteen. Our childhood was harder for him then it was for me. I think it's because he remembered a time when mom and everything was normal.

Things got pretty bad after Grimm left, but I can't bring myself to resent him for getting out. Okay, that's enough about the sad times, the story has a happy ending. When Grimm turned twenty one he inherited money from his dad, bought this house and eventually I moved in with him. I'm not much of a people person and besides my brother and the guys I only have two close friends. Not that it bothers me too much, if I feel like company I just come and irritate Grimm and his friends. After all, they practically raised me. Okay, maybe that's a bit over the top, but they taught me about the important things in life. Like love and trust and family.

This brings us back to why I was in my brother's living room sweeping up broken glass, beer cans and wood splinters. I had a favor to ask… kind of.

ooOoo

"Grimmykins! Please, I'm begging you!" Nell wailed as she fell dramatically to her knees on the kitchen floor. Throwing her arms around her brother's knees she pinned him with a pleading puppy-dog look. Grimmjow looked down at his sister with incredulous bewilderment. It wasn't that he was surprised by her over the top display, but he had no idea why she was even bothering asking something like this from him. She had a snowballs chance in hell of getting his approval for her request.

Nnoitra chose that moment to enter the kitchen. He froze for a split second as he took in the scene in front of him. With a burst of laughter he casually stepped over Nell and made his way to the table grabbing a cup of coffee off the counter on his way. "What's going on?" he asked the apparently disinterested dark haired man sitting at the table. Ulquiorra just shook his head and returned his attention to his breakfast.

Nell sat up with a shocked gasp. "You!" she shouted, pointing an accusing finger at Nnoitra. "You said you would talk to him!" Nell pouted sadly and looked up at her brother with mock tears shining in her hazel eyes.

Grimmjow ignored his sister's attempt at gaining sympathy and turned in his seat to face his friend. Nnoitra was looking nervous and kept glancing at the open doorway. He would have to pass Grimmjow if he wanted to make a run for it.

"You knew about this?" Grimmjow asked.

Nnoitra gave a nervous chuckle and glanced at the door again. Grimmjow was still pinning him with his ice cold blue gaze waiting for an answer. "Well?"

"She might have mentioned it in passing." Nnoitra confessed reluctantly as he scratched the back of his head.

"Nnoi!" Nell gasped in disbelief drawing everyone's attention to her. "You're such a filthy little liar. You helped me buy the tickets!"

While Nell was talking Nnoitra had slowly gotten to his feet and started inching towards the open door and freedom. If he could just get past Grimm he would be fine. Catching motion from the corner of his eye, Grimmjow turned back to Nnoitra, narrowing his eyes evilly at the object of his current wrath. Grimmjow was feeling slightly annoyed, his short temper simmering under the surface ready to snap. When that happened his friend could expect more than a few thumps with a soft pillow.

Nell scooted out of the way and pressed her back to the wall as Nnoitra lunged past on his way to the door. "I'm going to fucking strangle you." Grimmjow growled getting quickly to his feet. If Nnoi was going to run he was going to chase. It was in his nature.

Nnoitra stopped, his escape blocked as Szayel walked through the door. Utilizing his friends moment of confusion, Grimmjow moved forward to grab Nnoitra. Without really thinking about what he was doing, Nnoitra grabbed the unsuspecting pink haired man and spun them around placing Szayel between himself and Grimmjow. Nell tried to suppress a hysterical giggle at the sight of the lanky Nnoitra trying to hide behind the much shorter Szayel.

Szayel however was not amused by the sudden turn of events. Normally people hid from him, not behind him.

"Nnoitra?" He queried his voice dropping a few octaves. "What exactly do you think you are doing?"

Nnoitra reacted as if he had been burned and quickly let go of Szayel. The smaller man then calmly made his way towards the fridge and opened the door. "What's up Grimm?" he asked taking up the clipboard that was lying on top of the fridge.

"That fucking, irresponsible jackass bought my sister tickets to a rock festival." Grimmjow spat out as he reluctantly made his way back towards his seat. Nnoitra stifled a sigh of relief but opted to remain standing where he was… close to the door.

"Oh that." Szayel said as he turned his attention to making notes on the progress of his various experiments.

"Wait, what?" Grimmjow said in exasperation throwing his hands in the air. "You knew about this too?"

"We all knew." Ulquiorra stated as he got to his feet.

"But…" Grimmjow started to say as he looked from one person to the next. "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"Oh come now Grimmjow." Ulquiorra reasoned as he made his way past a grinning Nell who was sitting quietly on the floor. "Just look at your reaction. Can you honestly blame us for not wanting to tell you anything?" Ulquiorra shot Nell a minuscule smile as he brushed past Nnoi who was still leaning against the wall next to the door.

Grimmjow stared at his friend's retreating back in shocked silence. He felt betrayed. He knew he had a short temper, but to withhold information for the sake of peace?

Everyone turned towards Nell as she let out a little squeak of excitement. She was bouncing with undisguised anticipation. "Does that mean we can go?" She asked her brother. Seeing Grimmjow's shoulders slump in defeat she gave him her biggest brightest smile.

"Fine." Grimmjow relented shaking his head. How his sister managed to manipulate him into doing things he didn't want to, was beyond him.

"Yes!" Nell exclaimed jumping up and storming out of the kitchen so that she could phone her best friend and tell him the good news.

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AN: And that's it for chapter one ^^ Thanks to _strangeindividual_ for fixing my mistakes.


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